


The Very Long Night

by frumpkinisfae



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Accidental Outing, Beauregard Lionett is a homie, Blow Jobs, Body Dysphoria, Bottom Fjord (Critical Role), Communication, Cunnilingus, Dildos, Dom/sub Undertones, Espionage, Eventual Smut, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flirting, Gender Dysphoria, Guilt, Hand Jobs, Implied Sexual Content, Its a blow job for a t-dick but for some reason that's not a tag, Jealousy, Light Dom/sub, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of Avantika, Mutual Pining, Nipple Play, Oblivious Fjord, Outing, POV Fjord (Critical Role), Power Bottom, Power Bottom Fjord (Critical Role), Prosthesis, Protectiveness, Romance, Service Top, Service Top Caduceus Clay, Sex Club, Topping from the Bottom, Trans Fjord (Critical Role), Trans Male Character, Vaginal Sex, amab and afab terms, just a little, trans author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 06:54:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21797422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frumpkinisfae/pseuds/frumpkinisfae
Summary: "The plan that Nott and Jester devised might put Fjord over the edge. It was that, well, Fjord and Caduceus would pretend to be a couple who wanted to spice up their average sex life."Essek asks the Nein to investigate a suspect, and they trail him to a tavern that doubles as a rendezvous locale. After Nott unsuccessfully tries to sneak in and Caleb and Beau break cover, the rest of the Nein decide to send in Fjord and Caduceus, who end up being a surprisingly convincing fake couple. Or, was it surprising after all?
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Kudos: 94





	1. Fine and Dandy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey team! Honestly, after watching the last few episodes of Critical Role, I was struck by divine inspiration to write this weird porn plot. Then I ended up writing mostly that good, good tender yearning.
> 
> If you are here for the tender yearning: you're in luck!
> 
> If you are here for the porn: the fourth chapter will be the fun bit ;)
> 
> Just a note: I am a trans man writing about a trans Fjord, so I hope that settles people if you're worried.
> 
> Warnings will be at the end of each chapter.

“I think its a great idea!”

Fjord was at a loss at how to respond. They had been planning for half an hour. The situation was tricky at this point, and they were too far in to stop.

Essek Thyless had asked them to follow a person of interest on the whole “Corruption in the Dynasty” thing. His name was Illossus Davinos. He's a drow lower down on the council who had been acting cagey lately.

After a couple days of Nott trailing him and Jester scrying, the Nein had determined that every evening, he spends hours in a tavern at the edge of the town. The saloon is not particularly ornate and doesn’t even have a title card above the door, just an icon of a wine bottle.

People who arrive at the tavern seem to be from all walks of Xorhasian life and enter with varying amounts of companions. The patrons all seem to look around their shoulders when they arrive. They don’t look scared, but cautious.

Every scrying session would fizzle whenever he entered the tavern, quite like Caleb and his fancy necklace. Without being able to scry, safe, and cozy in the Xhorhouse, they had encountered a problem. The Nein had actually to put some effort in.

Solution one was sending Nott to break and enter. Unsurprisingly, that went bad very quickly.

The tavern seemed to be a front, with virtually no one in there other than the barkeep. There was, however, a door in the back that had voices coming out from under it. That door had a magic lock that ended up impossible to break. Nott tried multiple things but to no avail. The funny thing about magic locks: they tend to alert the person who set it when disturbed.

Suffice it to say that Nott is not the most charismatic when she’s caught.

At least now, the Nein knew there was a secret door.

Solution two was sending Beau and Caleb to scope it out. They gave it a day after Nott had been caught before approaching the tavern again. Eventually gathering a good of information in a small amount of time, they came upon a piece of particular information made them blow their cover in a not very quiet way.

“I’ve never been to one of those kinds of places,” Caduceus blinks slow, rubbing his chin. Fjord stares at him, trying to discern if he’s uncomfortable.

“Yes, you have, silly! My mama’s home is a sexy club, technically,” Jester smiles up at her cleric friend.

If he thinks about it, following a suspect into a sex club is not exactly the weirdest thing that their group will have done. However, the plan that Nott and Jester devised might put Fjord over the edge.

The plan was that, well, Fjord and Caduceus would pretend to be a couple who wanted to spice up their average sex life.

“I’m not exactly comfortable with this,” he chimed in.

“Ah, suck it up,” Nott growled. “Caduceus is plenty attractive for you.”

A blush immediately spread over Fjord’s face. He flipped around to look at Caduceus to check his expression. Thankfully, just a typical confused and scrunched up face.

“That’s not what I meant!” He turns away from Caduceus to defend himself from Nott. “I’m just not-”

“Just imagine he’s Avantika, but like, with a dick this time,” Jester wiggles her fingers with a devious smirk.

That didn’t help the blush. Fjord felt worse. He wished Avantika would stop coming up.

“I hate to say it, Fjord, but this plan just makes the most sense,” Beau pipes up from where she’s been leaning her chair back. “You talk well, and Caduceus can practically read minds. Plus, they already know what Caleb and I sound like.”

_Betrayal most foul_, he thinks.

“Caleb can’t do accents,” Yasha nods.

“Watt aore yeu taking abaeut?” Case in point.

As everyone was distracted by talking about… who even knows what, Fjord dragged his hand across his face. His thoughts were racing, and his emotions were high. He can feel the distance he wants, like a tether pulling him down the hall.

At his back, he senses a familiar tall warmth. He doesn’t even have to turn around to know its Caduceus.

“I wasn’t trying to be unfriendly to you earlier,” Fjord turn to look up at the firbolg. His lavender eyes are dilated in the dim of the hallway, and when he blinks, his eyelashes flit like butterfly wings.

Caduceus gives him a serene smile, “Don’t worry, I could tell you weren’t, Mister Fjord. I don’t mind going to the tavern. I just don’t know how much of a help I’ll be.”

“Well, Mister Clay, I think you are a much better talker than you believe,” Fjord laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Huh,” Caduceus ears flick before he smiles. “Why, thank you.”

They lapse into a comfortable silence and turn to watch their friends devolve into childish roughhousing. However, Fjord can’t help glancing over at Caduceus face tracking his gaze. He knows that he's transparent, but there’s a part of him that can’t help it.

At first, Fjord had thought it was just a passing attraction. Though, as time went on, sessions of meditation and tea had drawn him in. It was now passing the boundary of infatuation. While Fjord tends to get flustered and swept away by driven or powerful people, in the longterm, he prefers someone down to earth, kind.

However, when it comes to sexual attraction? Caduceus is very much large, robust.

Let’s stop there, Fjord thinks. Once again, he’s getting flustered.

“Are you alright?” a hand rests on his shoulder. Fjord’s head whips up to look at Caduceus.

“Oh, yes,” Fjord gives him a hopefully convincing smile. “I’m fine and dandy.”

Caduceus nods.

* * *

Fjord stands alone in his room. It is decidedly empty of knickknacks and miscellaneous items, but the bed and floors are decorated with textiles. Here feels somewhat like home. He feels unwatched, but not yet relaxed.

He glares at a tight black and red long-sleeved shirt laid across his bed. At the collar is lacing that windows to the chest until the bottom of his pecs. Oddly, it is missing fabric at the shoulders. Jester said something about that being sexy. Laying there as well is a pair of slightly too small leather pants.

Sighing, he sits down heavily on the side of his bed.

In the end, it was decided that the plan would go through. Fjord and Caduceus would go as themselves if dressed a little ‘hornier,’ as Beau said, and Caduceus would cast disguise self every hour. There was a concern about if he would be able to maintain it, but if he rests within the time, he can recast.

What Fjord didn’t divulge is that he will also be using disguise self, or at least mask of many faces.

There’s a reason why Fjord is so private.

He doffs his armor as quickly as he can, and is left in only a tunic which he pulls over his head. His binding harness exposed. With the clothes provided, anyone would be able to see the metal buckles. He has to use an alternative. Unlatching the straps, he feels the nauseating drop of his chest.

There are no mirrors in his room, but he knows what he looks like in others’ eye. Fjord’s chest is large enough that he must bind at all times to be seen as masculine but small enough that when compressed, they are little more substantial than firm pecs.

Standing and opening the drawer next to his bed, he pulls out a long scroll of flexible green fabric. He wraps from the top of his chest to the end of his ribs three times, folding the length up like dogearing a book each time it touches his back.

From the false bottom in the same drawer, he pulls out a wooden box.

Straightening up, he drops his pants and his undergarments, left in only his harness, holding onto his phallus. Fjord unlaces the faded green wool and bead-filled cotton pouch, keeping its weight in his hand. Feeling gauche, he tosses it back and forth between his hands, almost laughing. Fjord places it into a bowl of lukewarm soapy water to let it soak until he returns.

He pulls a more sturdy phallus with a deeper green wool exterior. It is filled with clay and wood beads surrounded by tightly folded wool fabric, giving the illusion of a more heavy length. More realistic, but more inconvenient.

Lacing it in, Fjord admires how it affects his form. If he squints his eyes, it almost looks natural, like he was born with it.

As he thinks, the moment is gone. He pulls up his undergarments.

“And now, to try to fit into,” He holds the leather pants in front of himself. “This.”

Wrestling himself into the too-small leather pants, his jumping causes him to knock one of his unlit lamps onto the ground. Unfortunate.

He pulls the similarly small shirt on tucking it in. Lacing up the pants, he hears a fist on his door.

“Oh, uh, one moment!” He holds his hand to his chest and utters arcane words. His chest is now his desired own, and the space below his waist looks authentic.

Fjord unlatches his door and pulls it open, and there he stands.

Caduceus has not yet cast disguise self, so he stands there, pink hair pulled into a tight high ponytail revealing his intricately shaved undercut. Fjord almost cards his hands through his own uneven stubble, a fair bit insecure.

Caduceus is dressed in a less revealing ensemble, but the dark brown leather coat he wears squares his shoulders, painting a broad picture of a man. His slacks are also reasonably tight, yet he wears a flowing unlaced poet’s shirt. Behind the laces, thick pink chest hair curls into view.

Fjord wishes he could grab the lapels of Caduceus’s jacket and pull him down into a passionate-

“I heard, uh, noises,” a voice snaps Fjord from his reverie.

“Oh, right, yes,” Fjord flushes and smooths his clothes. “It was somewhat of a challenge to get into these pants. I have no idea where Jester got them.”

For a moment, Caduceus eyes flit up and down Fjord.

“They are nice pants,” his voice is low, sending vibrations through the half-orc. “They seem tighter than you like, Mister Fjord.”  
Fjord nods and rubs his neck.

“I need to finish getting ready, but I just wanted to make sure you were alright,” Caduceus smiles and pats Fjord’s shoulder.

“I am. I’m shipshape if you will!”

“That’s good.”

Fjord watches for a second as his tall form steadily makes his way back up the spiraled staircase before quickly shutting himself back up in his room.

He immediately buries his face in his hands.

This is going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is mention of Avantika and Fjord's discomfort with her remark.  
Fjord experiences a good deal of gender dysphoria — both top and bottom.  
Fjord uses a packer.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	2. Looks Like Someone's Protective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God please I just want to see episode 88. I want to be FED.
> 
> Warnings are in the end notes.

As they approach the tavern, Fjord has to keep avoiding double-taking at Caduceus’s form. Now a tall somewhat broad forest-skinned orc, Caduceus’s mannerisms are somehow still entirely familiar. It’s eerie.

At least his face is the same-ish. His nose is different and tusk curl out from his bottom lips, but Fjord can recognize him. He probably always will.

The storefront looks about how Fjord expected. Candles flicker in the windows, and the bar is almost entirely quiet. Through the window, Fjord can see the outlines of only two people, and one is the barkeep.

“The gentleman’s establishment is far more convincing,” Fjord whispers. Caduceus huffs a laugh before pulling the dark wooden door open, holding it for Fjord. He nods in thanks before striding in.

The barkeep is a slender drow woman with dark purple almost black skin. With a brief glance between him and Caduceus, especially Fjord’s attire, she smirks.

“Evening, we are here to inquire about the services The Maiden provides,” Fjord layers his charisma on thick. After a briefing from Beau, membership seemed somewhat more lax than expected to this establishment. The only sort of password is the true name of the establishment: The Maiden.

“Alcohol, or something a bit stronger for you, gentlemen?” She looks from Fjord and then looks up past his shoulder. Caduceus has taken position flush to his shoulder, placing a gentle hand at the small of his back. 

“Strong as you can get us,” Fjord leans back a bit into Caduceus, half trying to sell it, half chasing the warmth.

“Alright,” she begins to lead them to the door at the back wall, touching a necklace to it as she turns the knob. “I’ll explain some things on the way down.”

“She’s nice,” his partner whispers. “Like Miss Ruby’s people.”

Fjord glances quickly behind him, “If you get uncomfortable at all-”

“Thank you, but I’m fine.”

The staircase is cramped, fitting maybe two drow sized people shoulder to shoulder. It gets colder as you go down and sharply curves back under the tavern soon after entering. Their footsteps are loud but do not echo. He cannot yet hear the patrons downstairs.

“Here we are,” The drow woman stops at yet another door. “Before we enter I’ll need your names and what you’re here for.”

“I’m Julius, my partner here is Omjun,” Fjord takes the lead. “We’re here to just, have fun, try something new.”

She huffs a quasi-laugh, “Most people with partners are. So, the rules are: make sure you get spoken consent and make sure you have watchwords. This space isn’t as big as others so vanilla is in the first room and spicy shit is in the next room. People will be doing it in both, just some people don’t like to be near more intense shit.”

Fjord nods, “All of that makes sense with us.”

She opens the next door, and Fjord can hear harp and flute music wafting through, as well as high and low pitched moans. Many scented candles are lit, probably to prevent any stale sex scent. Those candles are the only light that eeks out at him from the doorframe.

Suddenly, Caduceus passes through first, flipping the order. He blocks the view for Fjord of the next room, but after a moment, he steps aside and looks back to him. The larger man’s face is stoic. He nods, as if to say, everything is okay.

It’s almost as if Caduceus knows he’s nervous.

“Looks like someone’s protective,” the drow woman laughs before turning back up the stairs.

Fjord takes one step through before a momentary flash. A sigil on the threshold pops and whirrs, enveloping him alone.

It was a dispell rune. His bindings are now visible to anyone who cares to look.

Fjord frantically looks at Caduceus, checking to make sure that his true form wasn’t revealed. After seeing that it assuredly was not, Fjord turns to investigate the rune, spotting the drow return. She must have heard it.

“Oh shit, should’ve told you,” She hurries down the steps. “We don’t allow arcane magic down here. We’ve had mages get like way too excited and accidentally burn someone.”

“Just arcane?” Fjord shifts his arms into a folded position in front of his chest.

She shrugs, “Ya gotta have clerics man. Makes sure the hickeys and welts go away, ya know.”

The drow then stops, and takes a look at Fjord, trailing to his arms, chest, “Oh, shit. If I could, I’d give you an exception. Company policy though. I can escort you and your partner out if you want though.”

Embarrassed, he shakes his head and turns back to Caduceus who has been watching with a confused expression.

“Mister Fjord-”

“I’m fine,” Fjord says, so quickly it’s almost rude, before taking a breath. “I just had a disguise self spell put up to change- well hide my…”

The half-orc keeps his face firmly down at his feet until a large callused hand gently lifts his chin up. Caduceus’s face is soft with a smile. He breathes in deeply, like when they meditate together and he wants Fjord to copy. Following suit, they breathe in together for three long breaths.

“You are just as much a man to me as you were before this moment, Fjord.”

Fjord blinks rapidly, knowing he might cry.

“We can leave if that would make you feel better,” Caduceus whispers.

Fjord looks at Caduceus before leaning his head against his broad chest, tired and conciliatory. He shakes his head. He feels the firbolg’s chest as it rises and falls slowly, and the same hand pats his head twice.

Fjord straightens up, “We have a job to do.”

He widens out his focus to the rest of the room. 

To the left are two spaces hidden by semi-opaque wine purple fabric with beds and other silhouettes. One is occupied by three figures, but he doesn’t focus on them long enough to make it out.

To his right is two booth tables with people enjoying spirits out of glasses or bodies. Some are just conversing on the soft velvet booths or getting a bit close. In that far corner is an expanse of plush drapery and pillows where multiple people are lounging in action.

Straight in front of Fjord, however, is a long stage, like a catwalk, with rounded ends. Two poles rise from the stage at each end. One pole farthest back is being danced on by an orc woman who is no longer dressed.

Honestly, Fjord might just faint.

“Well, they all seem happy,” Caduceus half shrugs to his companion. Fjord answers him with a laugh.

“Heyo! Boys!” A deep voice calls from the booth nearest to them.

A drow with a rigid jawline bear poses at the corner of the booth, with a person on each side leaning against his chest. On the table in front of them is ornate wine glasses filled with blood-red wine. It’s almost stereotypical of what he imagined. One arm comes up, beckoning them with one finger.

Fjord began toward the man, as any lead is a good lead. Not long after he’d taken a few steps, Caduceus returns to gently holding his hand at the small of Fjord’s back. Maybe the drow woman was right. Maybe Caduceus is sort of protective.

As he draws near, he gets a better read on the drow man’s attendants.

On his right is a curvier drow half-orc woman wearing sheer white fabric that hides none of her dusky teal skin. She seems quiet and her bright yellow eyes are heavily drawn with kohl.

On the left is a slender drow man with long white hair. He wears an opaque gold harness and shorts with ears heavily adorned in jewelry. Something about him looks familiar.

The drow himself is heavily built for an elf, with tracing of white facial hair on his jaw. His torso is completely exposed with black tattoos on his chest. Black leather pants bulge a bit distastefully with the man’s length.

“It’s nice to see someone new,” He proclaims, remaining enclosed between his darlings. “I’m Korankoth, the primary patron of this bar. And you two are?”

“Omjun,” Caduceus angrily grumbles out. Impressed with his acting, Fjord is momentarily surprised, looking up at his companion.

Fjord focuses back Korankoth, “My name is Julius, and we’re here to have a little fun.”

Korankoth raises his eyebrows, slipping his arms away from his partners and leaning on his hands, “Well, we can make it happen. This lovely lady is Shyntva who is only interested in men, and this young man is Illossus-”

He knew it, knew it, knew it. Thankfully, Fjord keeps his face straight and Caduceus still looks somewhat aggravated.

“Who lays with men mostly, yet delights in a woman or two. I only dominate,” Korankoth says seriously.

“Dear,” Shyntva crosses her legs somewhat nervously. “I don’t mean to offend, but I saw your spell flit out earlier. Just want to make sure that you desire to be referred to as a man.”

Blinking for a moment, Fjord nods. He’s more surprised than offended, however, while he appreciates the thought he can’t help but feel self-conscious. He leans slightly back on his firbolg companion’s hand feeling the comforting warmth.

“Refreshing to see it used for something nice, usually people come in with disguise self to look hotter or emphasis their assets,” Illossus snickers twirling a chain on his earing.

“Omjun, would you let me borrow your partner?” the self-proclaimed dominant asks.

Caduceus’s face becomes stoic, “I don’t  _ let _ him do anything.”

Fjord, sensing some tension and afraid their cover will blow, leans back into his chest craning his back, “Jun, I’m always yours. We’re just gonna have a little fun, today. See if we like it.”

Which was effectively code for: we just need to finish this case, and then we can go home.

Caduceus breathes in heavily once before leaning his head down, kissing Fjord on the forehead. Surprised, but trying not to break character, slowly leans up. He fixes his sight on the trio.

He saunters over, employing his hips, and sits on the edge of their table. Maintaining eye contact with Korankoth, he sensually grabs the wine bottle and grabs the cork in the side of his mouth ripping it out quickly. Fjord tilts the bottle gently, pouring a long font of wine in to one of the ornate glasses. He lowers the bottle slowly, to shorten the pour and brings it back up again, making hypnotic movements. He places the bottle down, wedges the cork back in, and trails his hand down the bottle. Everything he does, he keeps eye contact with Korankoth.

Fjord crosses his legs, pointing his feet, “Would you like a drink?”

The drow stands and makes his way slowly around the table. Coming to stand in front of Fjord, he gently takes the glass, takes a brief sip, and sets it down on the table.

“You know, Julius, on second thought,” He grins and leans in, whispering in Fjord’s ear. “I find I’m thirsty for something else.”

Fjord licks his lips. This close he can smell the man’s heavy cologne, and his red eyes bore into his face.

He glances over to Caduceus. For some reason, he feels guilty.

“Let’s go somewhere,” Fjord laces his hands together behind Korankoth’s neck. “Private.”

Fjord eases himself down from the table, letting his hand be clasped by Korankoth who leads him toward one of the curtained parts of the room. As they make their way, Fjord looks over his shoulder to Caduceus, mouthing ‘Talk to Illossus.’

Caduceus blinks twice, and Fjord turns away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
People are having sex in a sex club. No sexual acts are described, just nudity and ambiance.  
Fjord's Disguise Self is dispelled by runes and outs him to Caduceus who receives it very well.  
Fjord flirts with someone else for the mission but feels bad about it.  
Caduceus gets a little jealous.  
Fjord pours wine and an original character drinks it.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Some romantic tension gets resolved in the next chapter, so get hype ;)


	3. Absolutely Enamored

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all Caduceus and Fjord are betrothed #ep88.
> 
> TBH I'm hearing some discourse about how Cad is kinda treating Fjord like a child and Fjord is taking advantage of Cad, and I think both are completely valid. That's what I like about critical role, in all honesty, is that these characters aren't perfect and are going to be assholes, just like real life. So I sort of brought that up in this, because I think they should eventually talk about that stuff if (in a perfect world) they end up together.  
TL;DR Critical Role is a master class in making characters seem like real people.
> 
> Warnings in the endnotes! Nothing happens that isn't tagged.

“So, this outing was your idea, hm?” The curtains are drawn, and Fjord sits on the plush bed within.

Korankoth expects an answer.

Beau’s voice flashes through his head, “The best lies, they always got some truth. So, if you’re gonna lie, tell the truth.”

And Fjord ain’t a stranger to a little lie

“Not exactly,” Fjord rubs the back of his neck. “One of my friends, I was telling her that I was, well, how do I say this. This is the first relationship I’ve seriously had with a man, and I don’t want to end up boring him. She told me about this place, so here I am.”

Korankoth kneels at the edge of the bed in front of Fjord, “I’m glad she sent you here then. I don’t think you could ever bore me in the slightest. I must ask, though, does your partner know all this?”

There’s a lot Caduceus doesn’t know, “No.”

Korankoth draws back, and Fjord watches his demeanor change completely. The man is still held confidently, but gone is the sensual swagger and sexual tone. He seems, honestly, a bit concerned.

Korankoth gestures, “Communication is important, Julius. I don’t mean to be your therapist, but maybe you should be honest with him before bringing him somewhere he’s not entirely comfortable. Neither are you, it seems.”

“Am I that transparent?”

“I read people well,” Korankoth stands up. “Ugh, this kills the mood.”

Korankoth sits down in one of the plush chairs near the bed, overdramatically exasperated. He crosses his legs, pointing the top foot. 

“Sorry, I didn’t-”

“You’re fine,” Korankoth waves off Fjord’s apology. “If anything, you should apologize to your man. I’m not trying to shame you but, Julius, he just seems like someone who needs more attention than people would think.”

Fjord is silent, and maybe he’s right. While Fjord spends as much time as possible with Caduceus, he can hardly think of a time when he has seriously asked Caduceus what the man feels or what he wants. Sure, he’s asked advice or traded ‘how are you’s, but he’s never sat Caduceus down to let the firbolg pour his heart out. 

To give himself some credit, neither had any of the Nein. However, this is a sad state to be in with the person you adore.

“I think I need to talk to him,” Fjord swings his legs over the side of the bed.

Korankoth leans forward in his seat, smiling, gestures for Fjord to make his way out. 

Fjord readjusts his clothes, making sure nothing is out of place and grabs the middle of the curtain.

“And Julius,” Fjord turns back to the speaking drow. “He’ll never get bored of you. I didn’t even have to see you two for long to know that he is absolutely enamored with you.”

Fjord blinks, “You sure?”

“Yes,” Korankoth leans back. “And if you ever come back, I’d be glad to see you. Make sure you communicate a little better before coming back.”

He chuckles, deciding that the man isn’t that bad at all, “Sure. See you then.”

Fjord, bolstered by his feeling of vindication, strides out of the private section and heads straight toward the original table. As he crosses through the gathering crowds of people, he passes between a couple and cannot help feeling ever so jealous at what he sees.

Illossus sits, perched in Caduceus lap, whispering into his ear and pecking kisses on his neck. Fjord halts for a moment, stomach hardened with jealousy, before his face flushes with guilt. _ What a hypocrite I am _, Fjord growls in his own mind. 

Shaking his feelings off, he continues, stopping in front of the table.

Caduceus spots him immediately, and Fjord thinks he can almost see him light up.

“Oh, why, you’re back!” Caduceus attempts to move but realizes that he is currently a bit encumbered.

Turning quickly, Illossus looks Fjord over disdainfully, “Back so soon?”

Fjord is unimpressed but decides to play nice, “Yes, unfortunately, a friend sent me an arcane message to head back to our hostel. If you don’t mind returning my partner to me.”

“You left him, so he’s mine, for now, dear,” Illossus gives a sugary sweet smile.

Shynta, who sees to be a bit deep in her wine, “Illo, stop being a bitch.”

The so-called bitch doesn’t even have time to react, before Caduceus lifts him up, one hand on his ribs and one on his hips, and deposits the slender drow farther down on the booth. He stands, dusts his clothes off, and adjusts his jacket, continuing on to stand right in front of Fjord, almost face to face.

“Let’s go home,” Caduceus says low in his chest, almost a purr. Fjord smiles. He holds out his hand and large callused fingers lace with his. They walk close together, calm in each other’s warmth. Back up the cold stone staircase, back into the tavern, and back out into the streets.

They are silent for a couple minutes, with only the sounds of their feet on gravel and quiet sounds of the evening. They have not yet released each other’s hands.

Fjord clears his throat, “Your disguise self should be wearing off soon, do you want to find a private alley or something?”

“Huh, it felt much longer in there,” Caduceus looks puzzled for a second before slowly arcing their path into a small alleyway. He leans against the wall, and Fjord leans against the other wall, watching as the orcish disguise falls away. Caduceus eyes are closed, his eyelashes long and pink. Fjord is so close he can see the light fuzz of an unshaved pink beard on Caduceus’s face. 

Fjord breathes in deeply, “I need to apologize to you.”

“Oh, I’m not sure I remember anything that you’d need to say sorry for,” Caduceus opens his eyes and his brows furrow, confused.

Fjord grips Caduceus’s hand with both of his hands, drawing their bodies ever so slightly closer together, “I have taken advantage of you, and I’m ashamed that it took me this long to figure that out.

You are always so kind to me, and I never return it to you. I’m a very selfish person, especially with you. I never ask how you feel or ask what you’re worried about, yet I expect you to always help me. I should help you in return, but I realize now, I don’t even know what to help you with.”

Fjord almost keeps talking but is struck still when he notices Caduceus leaning into Fjord’s head. Caduceus gently touches their foreheads together, and he can feel the warmth of grey-blue skin against his. The firbolg pulls away slightly, but his warmth still envelops Fjord’s body.

“Fjord,” rumbles come from deep within Caduceus’s chest. “I’m happy that you want to help me, but I don’t want you to feel bad. I haven’t been the best to you either. In all honesty, in the past, I’ve acted, well, huh, this is hard to say.”

Fjord breathes out a smile, “Caduceus, you’ve been nothing but kind to me.”

The firbolg’s brow furrows, “No, no. I have not been fair to you. When we first met, I decided you were a project. I tried to fix you.”

“I needed it,” Fjord chuckles until he looks deeper into Caduceus.

He seems upset, “In my mind, you became my project. I made you a task or, um, and object. You are a person, Fjord. A fascinating, multi-layer person with thoughts, feelings, and wants. 

Even when I realized that somehow you still, in some way, uh, were mine. Not a project, but I was selfish of you.”

_ Selfish of me? _ Fjord blinks in fascination. _ Oh, how selfish I have been of you. _

Later, Fjord would be surprised at his bravery, but against all the odds he does it. He gently cradles Caduceus’s jaw with his hands, pulling him slowly downward as Fjord himself uses his toes to rise a little bit to Caduceus’s face. They are so close he can feel the warm puffs of the firbolg’s breath on his lips.

“Please be selfish of me,” Fjord whispers watching Caduceus’s surprise play across his face. “I long to be yours.”

In a moment he will always remember, Caduceus softly places his hands in the small of Fjord’s back, pulling him in, and leans into Fjord. In exchange, he laces his fingers behind Caduceus’s neck.

And then, they kiss.

It is a soft, slow thing. Warm and gentle, feeling no rush. The alleyway becomes its own private world. The two men become lost in each other’s company.

They draw apart.

“Wow, huh,” Caduceus mumbles into the space between their lips. “Well, that was nice, very nice.”

Fjord laughs again, nestling his head into the crook of the other’s neck, “I’ve wanted to do that for a bit.”

They stay, embraced, in silence for a time, before they hear a door slam across the street, spooking them out of their euphoria. They unlace from each other, and it’s awkward for a moment.

Fjord’s mind can almost not believe it. He had been emotionally lusting after this man for months. In the scope of just a few hours, Fjord had discovered his infatuation was not unrequited, attempted to settle his wrongdoings with the object of his affection, and resolved all that tension with a long-desired kiss.

As his mind spirals and a blush takes over his face, he feels a callused hand envelop his. Looking up to Caduceus, he is met with a serene smile.

“Let’s go home.” 

And so they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:  
Korankoth and Fjord were going to have sex, but Korankoth believes in communication, telling him to talk to Cad better.  
Fjord feels guilty for taking advantage of Caduceus.  
Illossus gets grabby on Caduceus and Fjord gets jealous. Cad completely ignores Illossus for Fjord though so we good.  
Caduceus apologizes for being possessive of Fjord and also treating him like a project in the past.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos are much appreciated.  
Next chapter we'll get some resolution on what Caduceus learned for the mission and also, as promised, some resolved sexual tension. ;)


	4. This Was in Fact a Great Idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AT LONG LAST, I managed the energy to finish this piece! When winter break and then quarantine hit, my hyperfixation on Critical Role faded and was replaced with Dragon Age. As any other fellow autistics or even ADHD homies will understand, writing fics for dead hyperfixations is hard. Honestly, it took my hyperfixation shifting again to get me here. I'm back on my Mighty Nein bullshit.  
  
Anyway, this is the spicy chapter! TW Trans Body Terminology (honestly idk how to warn for that) Fjord uses specifically the terms: chest, tits, and breasts, as well as cock and cunt. As a trans man myself, those are the terms I use and am comfortable with, but I know some of my brothers and nb siblings may not feel comfortable with that, so I apologize and ask that you use your judgement on if that would trigger your dysphoria, especially since Fjord enjoys, and I mean enjoys, having his chest played with and being penetrated in his front hole in this chapter. It's not as if his discomfort with his chest is gone, he just has come more to terms with himself and is bolstered in the presence of someone who loves him.  
  
This is my first time publishing smut so please be nice! I had no beta, but grammarly.  


As the two of them step gingerly through the ornate fence around the Xhorhaus, their tree glows brightly almost as if happy for their return. Fjord’s arm is practically entwined with Caduceus’s, hands clasped and forearm to forearm. The height difference is admittedly somewhat awkward, with a third of a meter between them, Fjord can’t bring himself to feel anything other than unabashed contentment.

The whole way back home, Fjord has been glancing up at Caduceus’s face, but unlike before, he doesn’t blush and hide his face when their eyes accidentally meet.

Instead, he breaks into an admittedly dopey smile and brushes his shoulder against his partner’s upper arm.

“I like that smile,” Caduceus whispers, his low voice gravely in its quiet. “It’s nice.”

Fjord huffs, “It’s just like any other smile.”

“Hm, not this one. Your other smiles are practiced,” the corners of Caduceus’s lips curve up gently. “This one shows your teeth.”

His breath puffs out in a laugh, “You’re a funny guy, Deuces.”

He knows that he is referring to his tusks, but without context, it sounds like Duceus has a thing about teeth,  _ Maybe he does. He’s a strange fellow, but now I guess he’s my strange fellow _ .

Heart thumping at Cad being anything close to his, they come to rest at the large wooden door of the Xhorhaus. Fjord glances up at Caduceus before easing the door open for a somewhat quiet entrance. The bell at the top of the door nevertheless rings through the house.

Just like that, the silence is broken.

“You’re alive!” Jester throws herself down the hallway, skidding on the floor. “How was it? Did you-” she wiggles her eyebrows, “make a special friend?”

Caduceus, somewhat startled by her immediate arrival, instinctively raises his arm to the small of Fjord’s back, once again resting his hand gently against the warm fabric.

“In a way,” Fjord interjects.

Beau, at a much more reasonable pace, follows Jester down the hall with her eyebrows raised. The expositor’s eyes scan up and down Fjord, up and down Caduceus, and hone in to his arm around the waist of her shorter friend. A knowing smirk dances across her face. 

Fjord meets her eyes, and she jerks her chin between Caduceus and him. Fjord sighs, looking up at Caduceus’s soft face. An involuntary smile spreads across the half-orc’s face. He looks at Beau out of the corner of his eyes and bets the smile tells her everything she needs to know.

Out of nowhere, Jester grabs the front of Fjord’s already too-tight shirt and drags him to the dining hall, “We’ve been waiting for forever! Nott and I were convinced that you were getting spicy!”

Caduceus, trailing behind, rubs his chin in thought, “There was nothing spicy. Now that I think about it, there wasn’t any food at all.”

“How can you say that when you be lookin’ like a snack?” A shrill voice calls out as the newcomers cross the threshold.

The rest of the Nein is eating away at a recent batch of cinnamon butter cookies Caduceus and Jester whipped up. Nott’s feet rest on the table with a bored expression, and her companion is buried in yet another book. Strumming her harp, Yasha looks over with a cookie hanging out of her mouth.

“Alright then,” Beau slides into the bench across from Caleb. “What did ya figure out?”

Fjord glares at her, “I’m not of the mind to air my secrets to everyone.”

Nott squints, crossing her arms, “Don’t ya think everybody should know the important espionage information.”

“Oh, oh, yeah,” Fjord sighs, a bit embarrassed.  _ Not everything is about your romantic life. _

“What did you think she meant, String Bean?” Nott’s bright yellow eyes squint as if she’s planning a way to upset Fjord. He glares back.

“Forgive me for thinking that I may have been asked an invasive question,” he maintains his typical, joking exasperation. “You all sometimes have a tendency to pry a little deeper than most would like.”

Fjord almost jumps clean out of his skin as a heavy hand clasps his shoulder. Caduceus shifts himself to stand side by side with him as he tries to calm his heart rate.

“We met a couple of folks. Very nice, I had a brief chat with Miss Shyntva and Mister Davinos,” Caduceus drawls, drawing the attention.

“That’s the guy!” Beau stands up from her squat on the bench. “What’d he say? Anything important?”

Jester wiggles her shoulders, with her face twisting into a suggestive smirk, “Anything fun?” 

Caduceus raises his other hand to his chin and strokes his beard in thought, “Well, he’s been feeling a little insecure lately since some of his old memories got triggered. I think he’s just trying to reconcile life one with life two. He seemed upset but not I want to do bad things upset. If that makes sense?”

_ Well, he certainly wanted to make me do bad things _ , Fjord thought back to that annoying grab for his partner.

The rest of the Nein nod. The distinction is obviously important.

“We should tell Essek, ja?” Caleb closes his book and turns to Jester whose lips are pursed in a raspberry. She’s also staring right at Fjord.

He makes eye contact with her and points to himself with his eyebrows cocked in confusion. Jester stares deep into Fjord before looking back and forth at Caduceus’s hand on his shoulder to Fjord’s face. Before Fjord can really form any thoughts, she blinks a few times and turns sharply to Caleb.

She bounces on the heels of her feet and clasps her hands behind her back, “What should I tell him? That Mister Sexy Club is sexying all the sad out?”

“Eh, I’m not sure about that…”

Fjord was a bit too focused on deciphering whatever is going on with Jester, to no result, that he barely notices Beau approach. She lightly punches the shoulder opposite Caduceus and looks between the two of them.

“Just go upstairs already,” She says quietly, gruff but gentle.

“You sure? Shouldn’t we like-”

“I’m sure,” Beau cuts him off. “Cad’s reads are almost always right, and at this point, it's about the message and chatting with Essek. You guys have more important shit to talk about.”

Caduceus gives a thoughtful hum before moving his hand down to Fjord’s hand, and the two of them take the excuse given to head upstairs.

* * *

“So, um, we should talk about this,” Fjord closes his bedroom door behind them, turning the latch.

Caduceus nods slowly, eyes on Fjord, watching him. Fjord doesn't typically like to be stared at, he’s far too insecure for that, but with Caduceus it feels gentle. Almost reverent.

Caduceus, noticing Fjord beginning to fidget, takes his partner’s smaller hands, “Fjord, are you okay?”

“Yes!” He practically shouts. “I’m more than okay. I never thought that… Caduceus, I’ve wanted you for a while and I just don’t know what to say.”

The firbolg gives him a soft smile, “Maybe we don’t have to say anything.”

_ Oh _ , Fjord really hopes that means what he thinks it means, “Maybe not.”

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Please.”

Warmth spreads through Fjord’s body as their lips touch and their tongues mingle, so much so that Fjord’s legs begin to feel weak. He laces his arms around Caduceus’s neck, who is practically hunched over due to their size difference.

They come apart and Fjord is panting.

“Let’s get your, uh, binds off” Caduceus asks and he feels his warm breath on his lips. The healer places his arm around Fjord’s back, keeping him steady. On any standard day, Fjord would be mortified by how quickly he’s come apart, but with Caduceus, he feels safe. He feels wanted.

Fjord unlaces his shirt and pulls it over his head exposing his deep green binding cloth. He reaches to untie it, but his hands begin shaking. Large pale hands encompass his, calming the tremors. Fjord looks up to his partner’s face, full of love and adoration. He nods and releases the garment.

The simultaneous relief and disappointment of removing his binding equipment courses through him, but Caduceus’s gaze does not change. It is still soft and loving.

“What do you call them?” Caduceus returns his arms around Fjord’s waist.

“My chest?” Fjord questions and he gives a responding nod. “Well, I just call them my chest, breasts, or tits, I suppose. Mostly my chest.”

“Your chest. Alright then, do you like them touched?” Caduceus’s hands begin running up and down the sides of Fjord’s torso. He can’t help but shiver, feeling those large warm hands on sensitive skin.

Fjord drops his head onto Caduceus’s chest, already feeling overwhelmed from sensations, “Yes, not overly so but, I, uh, my nipples are sensitive.”

“Can I touch them?”

“ _ Yes _ .”

Ever so gently, Caduceus cups his breasts, running his thumbs over Fjord’s quickly pebbling nipples. Letting out light pants and voiced breaths, Fjord leans into the touch. It’s oddly affirming, having his tits be held by such large hands. It makes them much smaller in comparison.

Intently watching Fjord, Caduceus begins to seek out those little breaths shifting now to flicking and gently pinching the darkening areolas.

“Does that feel good?” Caduceus whispers into Fjord’s reddening ears.

Fjord cants his hips in desperation, “Yes. Yes, Caduceus, I need more.”

“Here?” he punctuates the question with a hard flick on Fjord’s nipple. “Or lower?”

He grabs Caduceus’s hand from where its teasing his chest, and eases him away, “Just, give me a moment.”

Pulling at the laces with shaky hands, Fjord wiggles out of his tight leather pants. He puts his thumbs in the waistband of his underwear before halting, “Why am I the only one disrobing?”

Caduceus blinks, “Oh, well alright.”

Unbuttoning the poet’s shirt, Caduceus gives Fjord a truly wonderful look at how much fuzz he has. He doesn’t even hold himself back from carding his fingers through the soft pink chest hair.

“So handsome,” Fjord breaths out before inching his fingers lower and lower, following the stomach hair to the happy trail to Caduceus’s belt, “May I?”

Caduceus nods quickly. Barely sparing a moment, Fjord slips out the belt and helps Caduceus out of his pants. It’s a bit awkward, long legs and all, but there is a wonderful prize awaiting him.

He recalls that the firbolg has discussed his disdain of undergarments before. Long and uncut, Caduceus’s cock rests at half-mast at the perfect height for one of Fjord's hands.

Slowly, giving him enough time to pull away if needed, Fjord reaches out and takes the length in hand. At the first tentative stroke, Caduceus lets out a deep moan that sends shivers down Fjord’s spine and a pulse in his crotch. Slowly fisting the length up and down, Fjord plants gentle kisses to Caduceus’s chest and neck, delighting in the growing pink shade.

“I may be sensitive, Caduceus, but I tend to lead these sorts of endeavors,” Fjord smirks up at the firbolg’s blissful face. “I was caught off guard with your careful questions and whatnot, but I’ll guess I know a good deal more than you in this department. Maybe it's time that the pupil becomes the teacher, hm?”

“Yes, please,” It comes out as a rumble as Fjord continues stoking Caduceus with one hand, and gently pushes him down to sit with the other.

Caduceus moves putty in Fjord’s hands, and with him seated on the edge of the bed, Fjord is for once the taller one, “Let’s get situated, hm?”

Fjord slowly pushes his undergarments down, leaving him in his harness with his phallus on display, “This is for a more natural silhouette, but it tends to hide the real prize.”

With that, Fjord unbuckles the harness, revealing his bush and pulsing cock. Without many of his ilk to compare it to, Fjord knows he’s a good deal larger than women with this equipment and a good deal smaller than men with a different one. Standing up from between his lips, his cock throbs in the air, enough so that you can see it moving.

Fjord looks back to Caduceus’s face whose eyes are shining and his jaw has dropped slightly, “Do you like what you see?”

Fervently nodding, Caduceus reaches a hand out that is quickly grabbed by Fjord, “How about this, I like to lead this, give you direction, tell you what to do, would you mind that?”

As Fjord goes to kneel on the bed straddling his waist, Caduceus says, “Well, I think I’d really like that.” 

Smirking, Fjord pushes Caduceus down and scoot up to straddle his chest, “Let’s put your mouth to use then.”

He then settles his crotch on Caduceus’s handsome face. Right away, he closes his mouth around Fjord’s cock and tongues it. He chants encouragement to his partner, telling him to suck, flick it with his tongue, or take a break to breath.

It’s heavenly. Fjord can’t help bucking into the pleasure, and he can already feel his cunt getting wet. The wet heat around his often neglected cock is driving him absolutely wild, moaning and panting. All the while, he gently threads his hands through Caduceus’s hair.

Feeling his completion approaching, Fjord lifts himself from his partner’s face, and what a sight it was.

Caduceus’s eyes are blown out. His hair is disheveled, and his face is covered in a sheen both from his own drool and Fjord’s wetness.

“What a good boy,” Fjord whispers and a broad smile spreads across the firbolg’s face. “Let’s give you a treat, hm?”

Guiding him up, Fjord situates them back to their earlier position, with Fjord straddling Caduceus’s lap. Almost immediately, he feels something long poking at his bottom. His beautiful length is standing at attention, and Fjord can’t help but reach behind him and give it a few strokes.

Fjord guides the tip to his cunt, “I’m going to put this in my cunt, okay? Let me just get something first.”

From the drawer by his bedside, Fjord fishes out a round piece of turtle shell that he has used previously to, shall we say, cover the head and prevent any unwanted fertilization. Fitting it to Caduceus cock, Fjord takes a deep breath.

Inch by inch, Fjord seats himself on Caduceus’s considerable length. Both of them let out a chorus of moans as Fjord grinds, reveling in his fullness. Caduceus’s arms wrap around Fjord, steadying him in his lap.

“I’m going to move, okay?” Fjord pants as he leans in to capture Caduceus’s lips in another kiss.

“Please.”

And so, Fjord begins rocking on his lover’s wonderful cock, feeling it deep inside his cunt. To add power to his canting, Fjord rests his hands on Caduceus’s shoulders and leverages enough to almost entirely expose Caduceus’s cock before plunging it all the way back inside his heat.

They melt into moans and tender nothings, focusing only in bliss. Fjord pounds himself up and down, yet now he’s joined by the firbolg’s desperate thrusts as he chases the wet heat.

They last barely more than a few minutes, before Caduceus’s pulls Fjord into him and rocks into his cunt, coming to completion. Fjord snakes his hand around to rub fervently at his cock for a few moments before he too joins Caduceus in that bliss.

As their panting calms, Fjord lifts himself enough to let the softening cock fall out of him. They continue to kiss and hold one another, enjoying the afterglow.

“Caduceus?”

“Mhm.”

“I do, in fact, think this mission was a great idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I certainly did!  
I'm gonna be participating in kinktober next month to improve my erotica writing chops so if you want to request kinks and pairings here feel free! I'm chill with most kinks except (TW hard kinks) scat, knifeplay, and blood (and maybe some idk about). I'll do pairings of all genders (canon or no) from Critical Role, Dragon Age, Lord of the Rings, and The Hobbit. Do be cautioned, if you don't specify, I will make more characters trans. I'm starved of rep, okay?  
Anyway! Thank you so much for following on this ride, your reads mean the world to me! Kudos and comments wouldn't help either! I've got so many spoons I'll surely manage to reply this time!


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